i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
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