Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
