I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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