he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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