she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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