She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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