So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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