Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
