Can Purell be used as lube?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
