I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
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I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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I have aggressive nipples.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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