Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
