if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I have aggressive nipples.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
