just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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