I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
