Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.