I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed