I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...