"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?