it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
