i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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