I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
