When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When are your genitals available?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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