I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
