just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
