I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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