i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
