Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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