we have pet lesbian snakes
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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