I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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