you guys were way drunker than both of me
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize