burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
