he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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