So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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