im about as happy as oj after his trial
she pinky promised me she was 18
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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