I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
