I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
