I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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