You're my little dorito
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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