I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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