After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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