No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
