You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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