White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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