Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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