look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
