Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She announced her abortion via fbk
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
