eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize