You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
