is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
