i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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