Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
