I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
