She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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