I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
