South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if only i could text you this smell
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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