it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize