He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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