Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
