She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
