I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
