She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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