An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We have so much sex to catch up on
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
