Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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