Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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