Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
