Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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