Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
