i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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