he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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