i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
