what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
