I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
